Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart

SALE TO THE KING, BABY


Bread By Dawn

Sure, you could buy Thetisian bread made from free-range Mister Fancypants wheat gently kissed by the sea breeze but is that what you want to eat when you're toiling away deep in the mines or slaying creepers on an epic quest? NO. You need a hearty, man's man bread that's forged in darkness and pain then brought up to the light only to be exploited, just like the precious gems men die for in mines and caverns across Renatus. This bread is crafted deep within the Daisho mountain within the confines of a redstone monstrosity that your primitive intellect wouldn't understand; alloys and compositions and things with... molecular structures. With science. Our wheat lives a short, brutal and unnatural life that ends almost just as it begins. Seeds are jammed into a single plot of dirt, engorged with grinded bones and Ash, then the ground is literally RIPPED OUT FROM UNDER IT! Bacon is extra.


That's What We Call "Pillow Rock" Baby

You want ore? We live in a mountain and underneath is the most maddening and vast cave system in all of Renatus. The monks themselves get lost in the earth beneath Daisho and the few miners that find thier way home bring the rarest ores to the surface. Smooth stone? CHESTS! Mossy stone!? STACKS!! Diamond?!? BLOCKS!!! We can even get ores in their natural state so you can take it home, hold it close and whisper "Gimme some sugar, baby" before you pop that silk-touched cherry! Groovy.


These are our BOOMPICKS!!!!

The heavy-gauge double-ended Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the mining goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Nilsbane, Renatus. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue diamond, and a hair trigger. That's right. Maybe they're the same as your enchanted pickaxes are. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.


Klaatu Barada N...
Necktie... Neckturn... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word! Klaatu... Barada... N.[coughs] Nilsbane! Pay your money and speak the words. Yeah, basically. The exact words? Look, maybe you don't say every single little tiny syllable, but basically say them and you get a random item. Will it be gold? Possibly. Will it be menial but not useless? Probably. Is it completely random? Minecraft physics.


Everything is subject to everything, yada yada yada, I'm really tired this morning.

Ruigi, I love this, it's brilliant! also want to get some prices on these items please, and is there is discount for buying these items in bulk?

Thanks! Not everything is available quite yet but I should be able to fill requests. I'll be pricing things as I sell them to start and then adjust accordingly. Bigger price breaks for higher quantities and not only discounts for Nilsbane citizens but they are will also able to "rent" enchanted items in the near future. I do currently have some lesser enchanted (Efficiency I, Unbreaking I) diamond BOOMPICKs for sale.

Still laughing.

If you sold armor it would be a regular Army (of Darkness)/Navy Surplus store.

Currently have an enchanted bow (Power III, Punch I, Infinity I) up for auction. You can place bids here or on the signs in my shop in Nilsbane. I will give sufficient notice as to when the auction is closing here and in the shop.